1. Finish Ms. Sham’s Psychology project
2. Study chapters 5 & 10on chemistry
3. Study chapter 14 for Psychology
4. Write my Ammama’s poem
5. Meet my Dad’s family this Sunday for a family meeting concerning my health
6. Sleep
For the past year or so, my hearing has declined dramatically to the point where it is impossible for me to communicate in noisy environments and when people talk to me, they have to be careful not to mumble and speak slowly.
For the past six months or so, I have been discussing with my doctors as to the best option to save my residual hearing. My doctors in India are of the opinion that CyberKnife, a form of radiosurgery, is the best way to arrest the hearing loss.
My doctors at the House Ear Clinic in Los Angeles are of the opinion that if radiosurgery does work, micro surgery would be that much more difficult to perform due to scarring from radiosurgery. Additionally, the implantation of an auditory brainstem implant or ABI would be difficult too due to the scarring.
This has been my dilemma of the past six months. I was clueless on what to do. Upon the advice of a friend, I consulted other NF 2 sufferers who have been through similar situations.
After having spoke to them, I realized two things. 1) HEI’s opinion is just that, an opinion. HEI doctors are not experts of the CyberKnife surgery but rather, their specialty lies in microsurgery. As far as I have found out, there are people who have beensuccessfully treated by the CyberKnife with minimal scarring. 2) No surgery is without risk.
Hence, I have made the decision to pursue treatment in India. Once all the tests have been done, and the doctors over there feel that the CyberKnife is the best route to take, I will have the procedure done there.
I know that God is guiding me in the right direction. I trust my doctors and feel this is the best option for me.
I have decided to leave for India during August as I am free from college-commitments for three weeks. My flight leaves on August 4th.
Please pray that everything goes well. I am positive that my surgery will be a success and that I will be all right. I will hear again.
Info about what CK is:
“The Cyberknife is a new high-technology system that delivers fractionated LINAC radiosurgery (FSR) using a robotic arm controlled by an image-guided computer technology similar to that used by the military in cruise missiles. The Cyberknife was approved by the FDA in July 1999.
Unlike conventional radiotherapy systems where the treatment machine is not able to verify the position of the tumor, the Cyberknife can define and confirm critical information concerning the position of the tumor during the treatment. Through the use of this “smart beam” technology, the accuracy of targeting is improved. According to latest research results (see Chang et al, Neurosurgery, page 140, January 2003), the accuracy of Cyberknife targeting is comparable to that of fixed (attached) frames such as in Gamma Knife treatments, and more accurate than for relocatable frames based on either bite blockes or masks, such as used for other FSR protocols.”
Taken from: http://www.dinagoldin.com/anarchive/cyberknife.htm
Really beautiful…at first I couldn’t hear the song so I dug into my memory and remembered how the song sounded like…and then I could hear it perfectly.
If ever I go deaf, I’ll remember Mariah Carey’s voice. She sounds like an angel sent from Heaven.
R.I.P MJ
Since my Ammama’s passing, I have been wanting to compose a poem but with other things on my mind, it’s become even more difficult. I’ve got a theme, I’ve got the inspiration, now all I need is a peace of mind. I must do it this weekend, I must. To honor her memory.
I have a big Psychology project to do and part of it involves thinking critically about certain questions and answering them effectively. One particular question caught my attention today. It asked:
Can creativity be taught effectively? Are people who are trained to be creative just as creative as those who do it “naturally”? If so, why isn’t creative thinking taught in schools? What is it about the present education system that discourages creative thinking? Might too much creativity be detrimental?
I answered as follows:
First of all, the concept of creativity is difficult to define. For the purpose of answering the questions posed, let us define creativity as the ability to solve problems or express ideas in new or original ways that advance a branch of human endeavor.
Studies have demonstrated that the correlation between identical twins raised apart in creativity scores is lower than that between their I.Q. scores. This suggests that perhaps environmental influences play a role in the development of creativity. Hence, I believe that to some degree, creativity can be effectively taught.
I believe that creativity for the most part, is learned. For example, in order for an artist to paint a portrait, that artist needs to learn different techniques and know how to apply different kinds of colors and hues to create a portrait. Although some people appear to be more gifted in the area of creativity, the gift has to be nurtured in order for it to bloom. Thus, to some extent, I believe that people who are trained to be creative can be just as creative as those who do it “naturally”.
Contrary to the question posed, I believe that the very foundation of a liberal arts education in America is the learning or acquisition of creativity. Although the word “creativity” is rarely mention as an educational goal, universities and even corporations thrive on the use of creativity in the classroom and workplace respectively. Ranging from the disciplines of theater to psychology, creativity is used to expand the ideas and theories previously held. Isn’t that the whole point of critical thinking?
As for the Malaysian education system, I believe that creativity is not fostered because the word “creativity” connotes a negative message. That is, the capacity to question facts is tantamount to being disobedient and hence, unacceptable to Asian culture.
I am also of the opinion that too much creativity is not detrimental. For example, it took creativity to get a man on the moon. Logic of the past, a century or so ago, would have deemed it impossible. Hence, creativity not only expands logic but has the ability to advance technology, science, mathematics, theater and many other areas of a liberal arts education.
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Is it any wonder why Malaysia is not seen as an innovative country? I think it is largely due to the fact that we are sorely lacking in the teaching of creativity. And yes! It can be taught to those who are “creatively-absent” and it can be nurtured for those who are “creatively-gifted”.
For example, a pychology lecturer shares her experience in teaching creativity to American students:
“I think it’s a mistake to think that you can give students fact, fact, fact and have them learn what others have said and then, only later, ask them to be creative and critical. By the time they’re supposedly ready to be creative, they’re not. They need to see how these strands are connected in other people’s work, and they need to engage in those aspects of the work themselves right from the beginning. When I assign essays, I’m not interested in whether students can repeat facts from a book; I know they can. In my Pscyhology of Education course, I have them read theories of child development early in the course and then do observations of a real child. For their mid-term, they have to look at that child through the eyes of two of the theorists, a task that encourages them to think both critically and creatively; they may have to account for some behavior they didn’t read about in the theory. The culminating assignment in the class is to design a school. It’s very creative, but they must support it with evidence from all the research they’ve read.” – Susan Engel, Psychology at Williams University.
For more on whether creativity can be taught, visit William’s University Website
Albert Einstein seems to agree that creativity leaves an indelible mark upon our education, what do you think?
“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” — Albert Einstein
I love proverbial sayings, what more can I say…and I like to archive them too..In case, I need a knock on the head to wake up and smell LIFE…’
Here goes:
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. ” – Helen Keller
1. Midterm exams (God, I hope I didn’t screw up)
2. Finish Chem project (I am working on it)
3. Do some of Ms. Sham’s project (working on it)
4. Take Noah and Chanel for their jabs (doing it tomorrow)
5. Spend some much needed time with TYL
6. Visit my siblings at Bukit Beruntung (I promised them I’d bring my dogs)
7. Send off an e-mail tno NF 2 crew regarding my health dilemma (more on this when I have more concrete details of where I am headed)
8. Sleep and exercise
I am not afraid of death, but I am deeply terrified of the process of death.
Let’s face it, no one likes to approach this topic but I have to, most often in MRI scans and pre-op situations. I always wonder to myself whether I’d wake up from surgery. And if I do get up, would I be the same person if I suffered stroke or brain damage during surgery. What senses would I now lose?
20 years have gone by, and it’s getting tougher and tougher to be an adult or should I say…to be resolute to carry on.
But then, what can I do right? I can’t choose my path but I can either choose to run away or I can choose to walk on even if life takes every. little. bit. of. me. left.
I am probably going to have to face a lot more hardships in the future. I am battling one right now. Losing my hearing, possibly another gruelling surgery, no more Grandpa to hold my hand.
*sigh*
I have to start building my life again, one brick at a time.
I cannot run away from it. I have to walk, I just have to.
I love this poem. It is so apt with what I am feeling right now. Makes me think of certain people in my life. I will miss them so very much. God rest their souls.
Title Unknown
Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free
I’m following the path God laid for me,
I took His hand when I heard Him call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
to laugh, to love, to work or play,
tasks left undone must stay that way,
I found that place at the close of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
then fill it with remembered joy,
a friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
ah yes, these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, He set me free.
Author Unknown
I love this poem. It is so apt with what I am feeling right now. Makes me think of certain people in my life. I will miss them so very much. God rest their souls.
“If It Should Be”
If it should be I grow frail and weak
And pain prevents my peaceful sleep.
Then you must do what must be done
When this last battle can’t be won.
You will be sad, I understand.
Selfishness might stay your hand.
But on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship take the test.
We’ve had so many happy years
That what’s to come can hold no fears.
You’d not want me to suffer, so
When the time comes, please let me go.
Take me where my need they’ll tend.
Only–stay with me until the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me.
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know, in time, you too will see
It is a kindness that you do for me.
Although my tail it’s last has waved,
From pain and suffering I’ve been saved.
Do not grieve it should be you.
Who must decide this thing to do.
We’ve been so close, we two, these years…
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
Author Unknown
